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Subject:infinitus revenge
Time:07:57 pm
 remember when I said that I nearly broke my ankle?

I actually did. Whoops.

I get a boot tomorrow. After work. ><
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Subject:curiosity
Time:03:15 am
 where does "exploring opportunities" stop and "leading on" start?

General question, honest opinions wanted!
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Subject:My New Old House
Time:03:09 am
So, I'm back in the house I grew up in.

Actually, I'm basically certain I'm writing this from the spot the fire began in. It looks totally different from what it did 18 months ago. My dad decided to invest the insurance money in the real estate, so we expanded a bit, and now the computer I'm writing on is sitting on a brand new granite breakfast island, with a lovely kitchen that I'm dying to use, but every now and then I get lost in the internerds, forget where I am, and go, "oh yeah, holy fuck."

I wish I had before and after pics of this house. I wish I had my mother to love it with me. But I know she loves it too.
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Current Music:Since March, Since September, and Still: the Mudbloods
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Subject:LeakyCon, Azkatraz, and still
Time:10:22 pm
LeakyCon- my epic-ly lost weekend. Amazing. Crazy. Wonderful. Done.

AZ-ka-traz! ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-DA-duh-DUH-DA-da-DA-da-DUH!

So yeah, that should be fun. :) Going to London/Scotland/stuff first, then straight to SFO for luneytimes.

For the record, I think I'm done with 19 years fics. 90% suck. I"ve read about 2 good ones. No lie. Or at least I'm not puking within the first chapter. I'm moving on to Sco/Rose, Sco/Albus, and Victoire/Teddy. Lemme know if I"m missing something.
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Current Music:Jefferson Airplane- Volunteers
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Subject:LeakyCon
Time:04:31 pm
Getting plastered with me? Going?
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Subject:spell checking fanfictin
Time:12:45 pm
I love reading fics where you can tell the spellchecker is on automatic.

“It’s ok Amanda, Harry is Teddy’s God-father,” said Bill, “and I’ll personally vogue for him.”

why Bill! I didn't realize this was that sort of fic!
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Subject:HP, Dr Horrible, and stuff
Time:08:25 pm
Happy Deathly Hallows Anniversary! I've already made a major note on FB about HP, but it was extremely schmaltzy and full of "I LOVE YOU GUYS."

So consider yourselves loved.

And if you haven't seen Dr. Horrible, go watch it. I laughed AND I cried. Or very nearly cried. I got all angsty for a sequel. Not that I expect one, but I WANTS it!

And stuff. Because I said there was stuff here.
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Subject:A Fluffy Happy Entry YAY!
Time:05:11 pm
So I'm coming home from Portus now, and I had a  wonderful time over all. I saw Les (YAY!) and Chris and Jen and Lizz of course. I also got a lot closer to a lot of people who I'd been mere aquaintences with, which was super. I also made a drunken assface out of myself at one point, which was depressing but the fallout seems to me nonexistent at this point, which is swell. I had a ton of podcasty fun too. Someone called me the "Howard Stern of HP podcasting" which I thought was sweet.

Anyway, I'm going to keep posting inane garbage like this now that I'm back. How are you?
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Subject:I'm alive, and I'm ready for 2008 to be over.
Time:08:08 pm
I've missed you all so much.

It's really hard for me to reach out to all of you. First of all, I've never liked asking for help. I'm a tried and true introvert, and a diagnosed social-phobe. And talking about how I'm feeling makes me feel all needy, and while I want support, I don't actually want it, if that makes any sense. I guess I just want a hug.

I know that I've mentioned before that when I get depressed I talk to people even less. Hence I haven't really posted on here since september.

Crabtree sucked. I never really got trained. I was never supported in my job, and hence I was never able to hire or train the people I needed through holiday. Of course, they never should have put a first time , outside hire store manager in an understaffed store in the middle of holiday. Truth be told, I hadn't wanted to ever be a store manager in the first place, but I accepted the job believing that I would be supported and that the experience would good for me.

My parents were amazing. I came home every night in tears, but they kept encouraging me and trying to help me solve my way out of it. I was scared to quit because I thought they'd be disappointed, but when I finally broke down and told them how scared I was of making them unhappy, they just told me how proud they were that I'd lasted as long as I had.

My grandmother died the second week of January. It was pretty expected. She was going senile rather quickly. My dad had been out to see her in November, and she was either totally there or totally not, and seemed to be declining at quite a clip. So when she died we all got to go to WI.

It was 20 below. Ow.

Travelling wears my mother out. Grandma died on a Thursday. we flew out on Friday. We got back on Monday.

On Friday I got home from my second day at my new job. Mommy was tired from the trip, and she was cold. Eileen had a hockey game that night, but mommy wanted to sleep. I tucked her in. I kissed her face and told her I loved her and I said goodbye.

When I got home I pushed the door open, and smoke hit me in the face.

I went into the house anyway. And I know that I was too late.

They took me to the hospital even though my throat didn't hurt worse than a severe cold. Apparently I looked like I'd painted my face black.

My mother's birthday was two day's later. We'd been planning to go to her favorite restaurant and have brandy old fashions and eat like pigs. Instead we went there because we had nowhere else to eat.

I saw my sister after her game on Friday. She had some kind of dance or social or something after it. When that was over her school advisor had her call my dad and he told her what happened. I didn't want hold her again so soon.

"At least she'll never be cold again," she said, meaning Mom was in heaven.

Dad and I laughed, because we both had the same thought about that terrible old joke about showing a homeless guy to a fire. At least he'll be on fire for the rest of his life.

I made up songs for my mommy. The voice I use as my dog's voice I invented because she thought it was funny. I don't sing songs like I used to. My dog voice has no one to joke with. No one tells me to sing pretty. No one tells me off when I'm being annoying.

I asked for my mommy back for my birthday. I know that I deserved it. If anyone deserved another chance it was her. She was in so much pain for so much of her life. She wanted to badly to be here for us and she tried so hard to be here and the way she went...

I don't like to think that she woke up. I hope she didn't wake up. Because if she did, I know who she screamed for and what she said. I know what she said.

I just wanted her back. I still want her back.

But I get it now.

I got a letter the other day. I won't say from who, but it's someone that everyone here knows. The letter told me a couple things about grief, and about love, and about everything. And the way the letter came about told me a couple things about friendship, and other things, and now I get it.

My mother gave me everything I need. She had more friends than anyone I know. They had to turn people away from her wake. The church was packed. We got letters from people she worked with before I was born. My mother taught me to read, and to love books, and the value of family and friends.

I never had many friends before Harry Potter. I never did anything with people outside of school activities. I didn't call anyone. I didn't hang out. And then I read this book, and suddenly I was going to Florida, or Houston, or Chicago or New Orleans, and suddenly I knew a million people. I had friends everywhere. It was crazy and unlike anything I ever expected. There was fighting and drama and romance and bitterness and a million things I never thought would truly happen.

My last six years have been so alive and so happy and wonderful. I would even fall asleep to the sounds of Jim Dale's voice coming through my ceiling, because my mother was desperate to know what was happening. My siblings and I would sometimes climb onto her bed and listen to the tapes or CDs from start to finish with her. And it's because of her that we loved it. Because she loved to read. Because she so desperately wanted us to love it that she read to us obsessively. She made us love to read so much that at some point reading was the only thing we did, and so when she tried to punish us she couldn't come up with anything because the only she could take away was books, and she would never take books away.

And books are why I know all of you, and more. And books are why I have friends that love me now, and are here when I need them most. even if you didn't know until right now, I want you to know how much I appreciate you, and how important you've been in my life. My mother gave me everything I need, and I'm so lucky for that.

Thank you all for being my friends. I love each and every one of you, and I haven't done enough to deserve you. You are wonderful, amazing people, and I want to do my best to be the kind of friend to you all that you have been to me.
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Subject:Drabble (?) post
Time:02:22 am
be kind. I haven't posted fic in years.

Fred-George post DH nonslashy'

   
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[icon] A Bird on a Wire
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